Letter to Burrito Thief

They don't need the dog and the sign. One of them would be enough to keep me away.

Maybe if Blockbuster had a hiring policy that didn't discriminate against reptiles, they wouldn't have this problem.

That's crazy. You couldn't tell that he schedules and emails just by looking at him.

What I want to know is, why did they have their sunroof open in the middle of Winter in the first place?

That or there's a new race of hyper-intelligent babymen. Either way, I'm terrified.

Never before have I wanted to be blind so badly. Look, he's even wearing little shoes.

"I could shake it off, but that would require--oh boy, is it mid-afternoon already? Time for my 52nd nap of the day."

"It's really dark. I can't see anything. We must be in outer space."Source